Living the dream -- Shattered dreams -- Face the problem -- Shuttling between my husband and my children -- Help! I'm in over my head -- The physiological toll of caregiving -- Cancer blindsides us again -- The magic of the last lecture -- Unique challenges caregivers face -- Decisions -- Talking to children about cancer and death -- Grieving -- The year of firsts -- Untethering our house from the past -- Single parenting is exhausting -- Taking care of me -- The magic hasn't gone out of our lives -- (Not) dating -- Giving back: pancreatic cancer advocate -- Dreaming new dreams.